My children are astute communicators. They pick up on body language and subtle verbal cues with the best of them. Since my field is communication, I have emphasized not only which words to use or not use, but also the importance of tone, word choice, and context. Although they groan when I say, "Time for a communication lesson," they have learned to express themselves and their emotions very well.
I thought this was because of my direction, but perhaps it's in spite of it. Lately, my kids have been calling me on all of the things I tell them not to do! Take Lizzy (age 3), for example. A few days ago, she asked me a question. I was busy with something else and absent-mindedly answered, "mmm-hmmm." Lizzy immediately said, "Don't say 'mmm-hmmm,' Mom. Say it in words!" I was stunned--first, that she had listened to my droning in communication lessons, and second, that I had some terrible communication habits that even my three-year-old could pinpoint. I was a little embarrassed of myself and told her I was sorry.
Today, it happened again. "Don't say 'mmm-hmmm,' Mom. Say it in words!" Even though I was paying attention to her this time, she didn't like being talked down to. She knew she was an independent girl and wanted some respect. Nothing wrong with that. And I promised myself that I would treat my children with the same respect that I treat adults when I am conversing with them.
If anyone reads this post, I would love to know--what are some times that your children had special insight or taught you something important? Was it something that you had previously taught them and just not applied to yourself? Or was it something entirely new?
9 comments:
I find that my kids talk a lot like I do, so if they say a phrase that I say, it makes me think twice coming from their mouths. Also, sometimes I catch myself whining to get them to stop doing something, and I think, "I'm teaching my kids to whine when I do this." The other thing is scripture study, we do it right before bed, and now my kids get really disappointed if we don't do it, even when James and I just want to put them to bed because it's late. I wish I were as enthusiastic about it! :)
My daughter, Emily, now 25 years old, once taught me a beautiful lesson. She was probably 2 or so. With her Crayons she had scribbled her beautiful colors on a coloring book picture of Jesus. I proudly posted it on the freezer. One night I picked her up to let her choose which freezer pop she wanted. When she got it out of the freezer I asked her, "What do you say," expecting a thank you. She looked at the picture of Jesus, smiled really big and said, "TANKS JEZ!!!" I was struck with her innocent wisdom. All we have is thanks to Jesus. My angel has grown into a beautiful woman of God. Now, if she and her husband would get on with having me some grand babies! : )
My daughter, Emily, now 25 years old, once taught me a beautiful lesson. She was probably 2 or so. With her Crayons she had scribbled her beautiful colors on a coloring book picture of Jesus. I proudly posted it on the freezer. One night I picked her up to let her choose which freezer pop she wanted. When she got it out of the freezer I asked her, "What do you say," expecting a thank you. She looked at the picture of Jesus, smiled really big and said, "TANKS JEZ!!!" I was struck with her innocent wisdom. All we have is thanks to Jesus. My angel has grown into a beautiful woman of God. Now, if she and her husband would get on with having me some grand babies! : )
When my son was 3 we were at my first sons grave planting flowers.My first son died from SIDS at age 2 months so his brothers never met him.I was 6 months pregnant and Patrick was helping plant the flowers.He said to me "It was awfully nice of God to send me and the new baby to be with you until you go to heaven and see Brian again."I have never forgotten that my children are truly gifts from God.
That is such a sweet thing for your son to say. Thank you for sharing something so beautiful and special.
Way to go with the scripture study, Melissa! Do you tell stories or read the actual bible stories?
Thank you for your response Amy
I didn't realize the account was logged onto my sons email and not mine!ha nkpkproductions said...
When my son was 3 we were at my first sons grave planting flowers.My first son died from SIDS at age 2 months so his brothers never met him.I was 6 months pregnant and Patrick was helping plant the flowers.He said to me "It was awfully nice of God to send me and the new baby to be with you until you go to heaven and see Brian again."I have never forgotten that my children are truly gifts from God.
July 8, 2010 6:19 PM
My daughter is one of the best mom's I have ever witnessed. She made some poor choices that resulted in a teenage pregnancy and a bad marriage to a physically abusive person but she went on to finish high school and get some technical training. She is now in a very loving marriage. She has always read to her sons and they are amazing students. She never talked down to them or used baby talk which makes them have amazing vocabularies. I have many stories from the grandsons but one of the most recent is from her 5 year old. Like most his mind wonders a bit and I find myself telling him to "Focus" a lot. The other day his older brother was brothering him and he turned and said "Quit bothering me I am trying to focus here!" He said it with such a grownup little voice I about died trying not to laugh outloud
I'm a yeller, and hence, so are my kids.
I'm working hard (with the help of a few self-help books) on helping them find ways to verbalize frustration and work out problems rather then screaming.
Hopefully I can help myself. :)
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