"Mom," Maia, my eight-year-old, bounced into the kitchen. "Kylie and I have decided what we want to be when we grow up."
"What's that, Maia?"
"We want to be actresses."
I think every eight-year-old girl goes through a period where she wants to be a famous actress, so I didn't pay too much attention. "Okay," I said.
But Maia didn't let it go. She had been thinking seriously about her chosen profession.
"Do you think I would be good at it?"
This question caught me off-guard. Maia and Kylie, her best friend, had been going to Michael Wallot's drama camps for several years now, so she had a taste of what acting was all about. All of a sudden, the warning bell in my head started ringing. This girl was serious!
As I searched for the right words, I fended off a barrage of conflicting thoughts and feelings. What should I tell her? That I had wanted to be an actress when I was younger, but I was steered away from it by my parents? That I still secretly wished I could be in plays every night? That the business is difficult, hard on a family, and fleeting? That too many young girls have lost their way in pursuit of acting fame? I wanted my daughter to have a passion in life and pursue it, but I also wanted it to be something attainable. I wanted her to stand out in a crowd but not base her identity or self-worth on public perception.
Choosing my next words carefully, I said, "Of course you'd be good at it. You would be good at anything. You could be an actress, or a doctor, or a lawyer, or a mom."
"Really?" she said.
This is when I got manipulative. "Of course you'd be a good actress, but you have to work at it really hard. A good actress doesn't just need to know how to act. You'll have to learn how to dance and sing, too. You'll have to take LOTS of dance lessons."
"Oh," she said. And that was the end of the conversation. She hated dance.
So did I do the right thing? Did I steer her away from her fate, or did I save her from a gilded path of discouragement and disappointment? I don't know--especially when I receive an email about the upcoming auditions for Joseph and Technicolor Dreamcoat and, reluctantly, hit the "delete" button.
8 comments:
Amy, I must ask this: did you realize by sending to Maia to drama camp that you just might be planting this bug in her head? I remember going to a modeling class when I was young just to gain self-confidence, but I definitely came out with a modeling bug! And that was way before the Miley Cyruses of the world, where tweens really can become stars.
You grew up in the business and I worked in it for two decades. You know more than I how difficult it is to really make a go of it. But if your daughter has the innate talent, personality and drive to make such a dream happen, I think you should allow her to follow ALL career options, just as long as she sticks to her values and gets a college education.
Besides, she has a long way to go, and even if she just uses it for a good creative outlet for several more years, what wonders that will do for well-rounded development, just like you had. And, like a few of my friends who are child acting agents advise, if they keep bringing it up, send them on a couple of commercial auditions and see how they (and you) like the process!
Please keep us informed!
Diane P.
I am sure Maia will change her mind dozens of times and if she really does want to act that feeling will come back to her regardless of your 'advice'. I remember when my daughter was young she told me she wanted to clean buses. I asked her why did she want to clean buses rather than drive them - she replied she couldn't drive them as she didn't know which route to take! Another time she said she wanted to be a lawyer. When suddenly she changed her mind and I asked her why she said she was no good at maths so she wouldn't know how much to charge! She is currently at university training to be a primary school teacher!
My niece said that she wanted to be a singer since she was 6. I thought it was a phase but now at 19 she is in college studying Vocal Performance. I never completely discouraged her but I feared that it would be horribly heartbreaking for her. Especially if she did not succeed or did not succeed as fast as she wanted.
But she is resilent and I am proud that she has kept a goal insight for such a long time. As you know the road is long and disappointing but in the end it will be up to your daughter. Be a proud member of the audience of her life no matter what road she chooses to follow. God Bless
We cannot protect our children from heartache, but we can prepare them for the disappointments and joys of growing up.
My daughter was in several glossy high-profile magazines at a young age. They were pretty and nice mementos, but ultimately I nixed the career before she started school I wanted her to choose her life, not live like the other little girl models.
I wanted her to be educated and self reliant and to feel free to use her incredible good looks on her own terms, not mine.
She is lucky to have grown up with great beauty and great intelligence, and I have never regretted pulling back from the edge.
My son was the lead in his elementary play last year. I don't do it in hopes he'll get the acting bug, but in hopes that he'll be a good speaker and not be afraid of large audiences.
I mean, what are the chances she'll want to be a drama star when she's older and realizes the consequences....
But I get it, I remember your dad coming to our Jr. High Careers class telling us NOT to go into show-biz.
Obvously, it stuck with me (or I'd totally be on broadway). :)
MOM AND DAUGHTER ARE BLESSED WITH BEAUTY,VERY PRETTY.
WOULD BE A BLESSING TO GET BETWEEN THEIR LEGS TOO.
love to cum in them both,would feel so fantastic.
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